MaddoxHardcore

Ever had a sex dream with a celebrity? If so, who?

I always dream about Robbie Williams. Always, and I’m not even remotely attracted to him in any way shape or form…

If you could visit anywhere, where would it be, and what would you do?

I would go to the US and do a Kerouac style drive across it meeting all of the fantastic and brilliant youtubers I’ve always always wanted to meet.

Have you ever given a bloke who asked you for your digits, a bogus phone number?

Shamefully yes. In a McDonalds at 2am to a Valleys boy who looked like a bird of prey.

Do fish sleep? If so do they close their eyes? How can you tell the difference between a dead fish and an asleep fish?

The best way to tell a sleeping fish apart from a dead fish is to nibble at its fin. If it reacts, it was just resting its eyes.

when oh when will you finally visit us????

I want to be there so badly! When I sort my life out and get a proper job where i’m not so depressed and disgusted with my own existence I will come and it will be amazing.

Who would win a celebrity deathmatch between Gordon Ramsey and Simon Cowell. And why?

Cowell is a pussy. Ramsey would gut his smug overpaid face with his collection of kitchen knives.

I like how you look and dress! I think you have the perfect body type and a very pretty face indeed, but your real shining point is the fact your personality is lovely as something very lovely indeed. Your brilliant. Just sayin’

I don’t know who you are but whoever you may be. I think you’re wonderful too. <3

if u were anyone for the day? who would you be..blondelass86

I’d be… hmmm… I’d be James Purefoy because he is delicious and I’d stare at myself in the mirror naked all day.

Ask me anything….oh dangerous, ok then, where does your dark all encompassing depression emanate from?

I have absolutely no idea. I’ve had a perfectly normal life, no horrible childhood memories, no abuse or anything like that. It just comes in cycles and seems to creep up on me when I least expect it. It’s horrifying and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

So… you’re at the pub, and Tiger Woods sends over a drink, then he asks you over. At the end of the night, he’s touching your hand, and hugging up on you. Would you have shagged him? [not knowing all the drama from the past 2 weeks]. Would you have been one of Tiger’s play things, a kept woman? I hear he’s very well endowed… Inquiring minds want to know! :-D

hmmm…
I used to fancy him in my younger days, but probably not. I’d take the free drink, be polite and send him home to his wife.

You must move to another community that does not speak your flavor of English. What language [and/or] non British accent would you rather enjoy hearing the most [German, French, East Indian, etc]?

French! I love it! Actually no, Russian. I want to feel like I’m walking around in a Bond film. Very dramatic.

Would you rather be cursed with immortality, living forever, enduring the loss and death of loved ones around you, suffering from disease, pain, etc., but never actually dying. OR, would you rather [upon death] be re-animated as a mindless zombie destined to wander the earth [half nked ;-p ]in a never ending search for braaaaiiinnnss?

I’d quite like to be a zombie maybe. Though, if I can be a Vampire and be immortal I’ll take that please. I love me some Vampires…

Would you rather have hairy arms like a monkey, or…. be completely hairless, including the hair on your head, eyebrows, and everywhere else. ;-p

Hair arms! I’d just wax them!

Do you remember how we used to talk, we’d stay on the phone night till dawn. Do you remember all the things we said?

Michael Jackson? Is that you? Are you speaking to me from beyond the grave? Do you want me to say hello to Quincy Jones?

Would you rather give up all forms of sex (including masterbation and even kissing) for one year OR give up anything Internet related (iPhones, the web, anything…) for 2 years?

The sex thing. It’s over quicker, I love the internet far too much. I’m currently running the risk of turning entirely 2D.

Ask me anything

Fancy a shag?

I’m afraid not, thanks though!

I’m terrible at meeting a girl and impressing them out at clubs, I’m all about talking to them in person usually and going on a date with them to impress them with my humor and charm and money (Which i’m pretty good at). However i can only really do that with people i know already and so none of them would want to go on a date, or at least i wouldn’t risk embarrassing “Wait, is this a date” convo. How much is this a disability, how would that sort of guy get anywhere?

Personally I find that whole ‘meeting someone in a club’ thing entirely difficult. First there’s approaching them and then if that goes to plan the whole mess of meeting up and seeing if you can click in a context where there isn’t booze and good vibes floating around.
I can relate because I’m much more comfortable talking to people on a one to one basis. I think currently, in your situation that it’s worth the risk of the whole “Is this a date…” conversation if you really like someone because at least you’ve tried and made the first move rather than resting on your laurels waiting for someone to come to you. Obviously there needs to be a spark there first though rather than you just trying to date your friends. Take it from me though, all girls like being told that they’re special and being shown a good time. Nothing ventured nothing gained and all that. If all else fails, you can take me out <3 

Given no other alternative, would you rather be a Vampire or a Werewolf (the old school kind, the Twilight kind) and how would you manage that lifestyle?

A vampire! Always! That sexy neck thing and everlasting life please. I wonder though… can I be like a True Blood vampire instead? They’re far more badass…

If you were a man who would you want to look like and why?

Brad Pitt circa Fight Club. Just divine…

would you house me if i came to visit you?

Are you house trained? If so, then probably, and I’d feed you and take you fun places too!

Would you marry me?

Quite possibly.

If you consumed an apricot while flying in a hot air balloon, would your feet be cold?

Freezing, everyone knows the dangers of apricots and heights! Considering I spend the majority of my life in flip flops my feet are always always cold. My best friend is always trying to persuade me to put socks on.

If you became a badger, and started hunting porcupines …would you feel ashamed?

I’d feel dirty, but good.

Okay, so you’re in a warzone…and brazilnuts are flying over your head at tremendous velocities. If one hits you you’re DEAD, right - so in the trenches you meet this ferret named Roger, and he tells you about this vast oasis beyond no-man’s land where there is treasure to be found and multiple golden beavers…do you risk it or lie back on a sunbed eating the livers out of live manatees? I am waiting eagerly for your answer…

Oh my god! Too much information to take in! Of course, I think I could lay back on the sunbed noshing on the livers of fallen manatees…

Okay so there’s 200 pervs in a backalley waiting for you. Your weapon of choice? a) Mace b) mind-controlled Lobsters c) a samurai sword with your name on it?

Sword, I’d go mental like Uma in Kill Bill style. I’ve always secretly wanted to go on a killing spree.

how many fingers am i holding up? ♥-S.I.U.T.K.

Seven. Definitely seven.

hose boots look like they’re made for walking. Is that just what they’ll do? One of these days d’you think those boots will come and walk all over you?

What kinds of boots are these? Shiny shiny, shiny boots of leather?

If John Lennon had never been shot, would the Beatles have ever gotten back together?

No, Yoko would have destroyed him with crazy Japanese love.

Whats the hardest thing for you, being extremely beautiful or universally loved?

Both are terribly hard, though as I am neither I’m afraid I simply cannot comment.

The government outlaws all alcohol. You, outraged with this become an underground freedom fighter and attend regular meetings with resistance, however you aren’t like most of the people because you still have ties to your family. One day you are walking home and see a small kid being beaten up by police for trying to retrieve a bottle of vodka they placed to trap alcoholic children. You can stop them, but your identity will be known and you’ll have to leave your family for a life of booze. The question is, WHATS YOUR FAVORITE FLAG.

RED FLAG.
Stay in the base Master Chief.
*Vietnam style halo flashback*

You are passed out after a heavy night of drinking, and you dream that your the type of mug that everyone has and is their special mug that no-one else can use, that they probably got off a gran parent several years ago. What would your ideal contents be? (P.S. did you hear wagamama’s is closing down!?!?)

The idea contents… wine preferably sancerre. Wine in a mug thank you very much and goodnight. ALSO WTF? Wagamamas is closing down?! Please be telling fibs!

If you could change one thing about your physical appearance what would it be? [and you can’t say anything about your weight!]

I’d get my teeth straightened. Years of thumb sucking has destroyed them.

Do you believe that our entire universe is contained within the computer of an advanced simulation, such as like ‘The Sims’ game is to us? Or did you take the Blue pill?

The world has been pulled over our eyes.

Do I give a massive shit?

I don’t know…do you?

If you could visit to the Great White North would you bring me Welsh drugs smuggled in your breasteses?

Welsh drugs are smuggled in rugby balls, welsh cakes and members of the manic street preachers. I would become a drugs mule for you though oh anonymous stranger… <3

What places are your fav hot spots? I mean if I was to visit and you were to show me around where would we go? (other than just stalking russell , with wine in one hand and vegan gum drops in the other)

Right! We would do all kind of lovely things, I’d take you places to have coffee and tapas and you could judge the baristas with a furrowed brow. Then I’d take you to a gloomy beach so you could see what rubbish us Brit’s have to contend with. A visit to Bristol and/or Bath to look at bits of history and that, I would warn you though, mostly we’d be incredibly drunk.

If you had a time machine when would you go to?

Ancient Rome and I’d never return.

If you became prime minister, what would be the first five things on your to-do list?

Sort out homelessness, child abuse and poverty. Outlaw shitty conditions for animals and introduce a tax for stupid people.

Do you like the fact that 99.9% of people only watch your videos because the regular and purposeful displays of your tits?.sure you have a big tits but that’s literally as deep and involved as your videos ever are - love to know what you think.

I don’t have any opinion on that, you’re simply wrong.

How tall (or short haha :) ) areyou?
A grand height of 5’3

Who was the last person to see you naked? Who was the last person you saw naked?

I can’t name him because he’s intensely private. (That sounds like I’m talking about Prince Harry!…I totally am)
It was Saturday morning and it was mutual nudity, he was naked, I was naked. You get the gist.

In exchange for fabulous wealth and celebrity would you give up all forms of intimacy, no hugs, no love, not even handshakes or a tap on the shoulder OR would you rather be cursed with abject poverty but always be able to develope deep and sincere connections with people that interest you?

I’d rather be poor thank you. I like being bundled up into someones arms and feeling the warmth of another human being. No amount of money is better than that.

You’re at the pub and notice a nearly hottie giving you the eye while commenting to his mates. What would you rather overhear him say, “Gawd niiice ass!” or “Nice Rack!” or “She got sexy lips and love her hair!”

Lips and hair! I spend so much money on make up and hair crap, it would be nice if someone noticed!

Would you rather overhear a group of handsome fellas speculating about how good you are in bed, about the obvious intelligence you exude?

Brains, without a shadow of a doubt.

What is the one thing about being a female [or regarding “femininity”] that you enjoy the most. What one thing do you dislike most?

Softness, in general, lovely soft skin, soft fragrant necks, compassion, the ability to listen and that gentle nurturing instinct. Boobies too.

What one “masculine” trait, or aspect about being a male do you envy the most, if any? Name the masculine trait that you find most annoying, and/or repulsive.

The ability to have sex with someone and not mean it. Men are fabulous at that, sadly when women have sex with someone their brain releases a chemical which bonds them to whatever person they’ve slept with, much to our detriment some of the time.

It’s that very same trait that I find annoying and repulsive in others.

You have a choice between two handsome men [body and face], but one has a foul mouth and cannot string together a sentence w/out a healthy peppering “colorful metaphors” [no matter what the occasion or location, he’s a potty mouth], and the other [slightly more handsome, and funny] one suffers from clinical grade halitosis. Who do you pick and why?

I quite like a good swear so maybe the sweary one, but hang on the funny one with the bad breath? He’s how funny? I like funny! As long as they’re not as funny as me then I chose that one, I’d just buy him a toothbrush.

Walking home from the corner Tesco you step on a crack in the side walk which in reality turned out to be a singularity string which suddenly causes you to be transported into an alternate universe where you must shag either Capt Kirk or Mr Spock to save the entire crew of the Enterprise! What do you do? …and are you given it all she’s got?!

KIRK! ALAWAYS! I have a crush on William Shatner in the good old days, my god, you wouldn’t even have to ask me twice. Spock could watch.

Complete: -T -I -F -F -A -N -Y

Tactile (I love hugs and all that)
Infamous (There was once a hate group set up in my honour on facebook)
French (I want to learn to speak French properly, I can understand but not always respond)
Forward (I can be very forthcoming)
Aloof (Something I try and perfect on a daily basis but never end up pulling off, “Hey, how am I doing? is his aloof enough?!” *falls over*)
Nocturnal (I favor the night, always.)
Yawn (I’m always, always tired)

Ask me anything

CONGRATULATIONS! You have just graduated from Starfleet academy, your marks were so high that you’ve been fast tracked straight into the captain’s chair of the Starship Enterprise itself! However before you embark on your first mission into the Neutral zone to negotiate a trade treaty (which will inevitably be sidetracked when the holodeck goes haywire) you must pick your command crew (from people you know/celebrities/fictional characters etc). You are allowed to fill one vacancy with a bonafide character from Star Trek. Commanding Officer: Tiff First Officer: Chief Engineer: Chief of Security / Tactical Officer: Chief Medical Officer: Ship’s Counselor: Chief Science Officer: Conn Officer: Transporter Chief: Bartender: Voice of the computer: Borg Queen: Q: Red shirt who gets shot on every away mission:

This is my favourite question ever. Who are you? I love you.

Commanding Officer: Tiff
First Officer: Batman
Chief Engineer:
Chief of Security / Tactical Officer: Julias Caeser
Chief Medical Officer: Dr Cullen
Ship’s Counselor: Russell Brand
Chief Science Officer: Dickie Dawkins
Conn Officer: Ensign Wesley Crusher
Transporter Chief: Jeremy Clarkson
Bartender: Tom Cruise
Voice of the computer: Alan Rickman
Borg Queen: Madonna
Red shirt who gets shot on every away mission: Kristen Stewart

A madman bursts into the house and puts a gun to your head and another gun pointing at your parents. You have to either have sex with your mum to save your dad or your dad to save your mum. A threesome saves everyone. WHAT. DO. YOU. DO???? by RoryBinks

AH HA! I’ve never actually met my dad. So that solves THAT little dilemma.
I’d just pull some ninja moves and kick the shit out of the gun man and save my mum. Or leave her to die, depending on whether we’d had a row that morning over the hairbrush I keep borrowing.

If you had 8 tentacles like an Octopus…what would you primarily use them for?

I’d become a vigilante and use them for climbing walls and strangling criminals. 8 at a time. I also might move into some very niche porn and make trillions.

You get picked up by the coppers for trying to nick a lipstick from the corner Tescos. One of the cops (a handsome devil) says he’ll cut you loose if you fellate him in the back of the police car. What do you do?

I’d tell him my surname so he’d know who my family are, most of which are police and all of whom would out rank him, threaten to tell them he’d been a pervy perve pants, demand he let me go and skip away after scrawling ‘slut’ on his beautiful bare chest with the stolen lipstick.

Ask me anything

“Oh yes we fake. Even her. Yes. Even that time. Sorry stud.” But.. BUT….. SHE SAID SHE DOESNT… *Bursts into tears* by RoryBinks

She lies.

Okay, so you go to sleep one day normally but you wake up and you are suddenly a man. Now this man you are now is in his massive bed because he has a brilliant job and is rich, and has a very attractive wife, but obviously your still a girl inside. You get the chance at day one to be turned back into you, or stay the rich guy. WHAT DO YOU DO. by RoryBinks

Here’s what I do, I spend the day buying presents for girl me and transferring my grotesquely huge bank balance into her account. Then I resign from my awesome job and suggest that girl me does it instead.
I eat all the delicious fattening food I don’t usually allow into my own fickle body and then see what it’s like to pee standing up.
Finally I’d fuck my wife before transferring back to my own self with all of the stolen perks of a rich and happy man, knowing I’ve destroyed his life for my own personal gain.

Your locked in a room for a 4 days, the lights are always on theres no food (but SOME water) and its a square white room with no real comfy spots. There are, however, some anal beads, and if you put them up your bum the door will immediately open and someone will take a picture that will go right on your youtube channel and facebook. Do you wait 4 days for the door to open automatically or do you put the beads up, and how long would you wait to make it look like u at least tried so its less humiliating. by RoryBinks

My family are my facebook friends so I’ll starve for 4 days before leaving exhausted and sleep deprived. The anal beads can come home with me though.

Your locked in a room for a 4 days, the lights are always on theres no food (but SOME water) and its a square white room with no real comfy spots. There are, however, some anal beads, and if you put them up your bum the door will immediately open and someone will take a picture that will go right on your youtube channel and facebook. Do you wait 4 days for the door to open automatically or do you put the beads up, and how long would you wait to make it look like u at least tried so its less humiliating. by RoryBinks

You asked me twice!

Eat my pods?

I’m a vegetarian!

OK, a boring question. What ethnicity accounts for your exotic good looks?

My mum is white white white actually my entire family is blonde haired and blue eyed sort of like the Hitler youth.
My dad’s family are Jamaican so he’s like half and half innit, I’m thus beige, brunette and big bottomed.

What do you think about a life of solitude? Everyone talks about finding a good partner and relationship, but is that really worthwhile? Especially if you look at how many older people are divorced and unhappy… I would be interested to hear your opinion on this matter.

A life of solitude for myself or for humans in general?
Personally, nothing in this world would convince me to live without love and companionship. It’s worth the heartbreak and mess that comes with it. If you love someone then that feeling is better than anything else in the entire world.
Finding someone to love you despite of and because of your flaws surely must be something most people aspire to?

Even if you offered me a billion quid to live without love for the rest of my life I’d turn you down. What’s the point in doing amazing things, seeing wonderful places and just generally existing day to day if you don’t have anyone to share that with?

Do boys send you pictures of their willies?

Not for quite some time…

It’s hard to find a question to ask because I know you so well but.. When have you been the most angry in your life and why? and when have you been the most happiest and why?

Most angry?

Finding out someone had cheated on me. There is nothing more demoralizing.
I felt betrayed, useless and venomous. I was seriously out for blood.

The happiest? This is going to sound so corny and superficial so I have to apologize in advance but to date it’s probably my entire 21st birthday in Rome. Drinking champagne, looking over the rooftops of the city, the art, the history, the food… Everything was just so overwhelming, not even a split lip or a messed up hotel booking could kill my buzz. It was magical.

Who or what is Lubna? by Destro7000

She is a receptionist where I work, a bit ditzy at times but HILLARIOUS, so much fun to be around, totally silly, a proper girly girl but without an ounce of bitchiness to her. Spent all afternoon covering me in sticky labels and making me strut about/pose on cars whilst she took pictures. I feel properly blessed to know here.

Ask me anything

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unrequited [ˌʌnrɪˈkwaɪtɪd]

adj (of love, affection, etc.) not reciprocated or returned